Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Biter Biter

Ayiana has since she was little been a "bitter," she does not push, pull, or steal toys when she reaches her point of frustration she simply bites. This has occurred about twice a year since she was 21 months of age, and apparently even with the hope of it "going away" after preschool years it evidently has NOT. Yesterday afternoon Liam and Ayiana where in his room playing, all was well and they both sounded happy then it happened, the screaming.... immediately I asked "Ayiana what did you do" she came to me shaking and crying and told me she did not want to tell me, I told her she better and then she told me she bit her brother. "What, you did what? Get in timeout" so off the the corner she went and Liam and I connected in the hall, I undress his shirt and then I couldn't find the bite so I had to ask her where... she pointed on her arm where and I said "how hard" she said "medium hard" oh my goodness... found the bite and I was upset, bruised and swelling already! I took Liam into my room, Thomas had just gotten home and had heard a portion of the commotion. I called Ayiana in to the room and I asked what she should have done etc. Liam did NOT help make it seem more serious by laughing hysterically the whole time (he was happy to have an ice pack to play with now as well). Ayiana went to her room knowing she would be receiving one spanking because the last time she did this she was told that, so she did...with not at tear until I told her to clean her room and that she was on a "one star" for the rest of the day and all tomorrow. She asked how long she had to clean her room, I told her 30 minutes, she (being her usual self) asked what would happen if it was not cleaned in that time. I told her I would get a trash bag and take everything not put away and throw it away. I closed her bedroom door and she screamed and thrashed about moving things, occasionally I could hear her pipe out about never ever being able to finish cleaning in 30 minutes. She did of course, in 15 minutes, and the rest of the night was an angel.  At bedtime Thomas was saying prayers with her and her special prayer was  "That the Easter bunny bring me lots of.... love" Thomas said it was incredibly hard not to laugh at this one, it was apparent "lots of candy" was probably what she originally thought then thought better of that and asked for love instead, and was obviously worried that after being in so much trouble today the special bunny may not visit at all! Today since she is on a "one star" she has no electronics usage, no choices in clothing or food, and  must complete 2 chores. Yesterday she cleaned her room and putting all her own laundry away, today she is scrubbing walls and this afternoon will be cleaning mirrors/windows. She apologized to Liam a few times while scrubbing walls, sung to him, kissed and hugged him and overall I think feels quite guilty for being mean. The hard part for me as a parent is realizing that she is having physical knee-jerk reactions that I PRAY and HOPE she can learn to control because the last two times (once with her cousin and this time) she has said to me "he would not leave me alone, I wanted to play by myself and he just kept bugging me over and over and over. And each time we say, "you need to find an adult to help, not bite" sigh. Next time we told her everything would be removed from her room less her clothes, bed with only pillow/sheet/blanket... kind of more jail cell like, hope that might scare her enough to think before acting. And since this was such a hum drum woe is me-the-mom post I am putting pictures to look at that are much more fun!
Ayiana and I played "April Fools on Dad"
Thomas and Liam Cloud watching on Monday morning

Ayiana at the park on Monday

Liam and I at the park on Monday